stars and satellites

it's 1.09 on a cold Sunday morning.it's pitch black and the only thing that sheds light is the monitor. i can barely open my bruised eyes. been crying drops of tears that would fill up a river since God knows when.you'd think that my tear glands would be dry by now but the truth is,they never run dry.

i'm going to lose the one thing that's been keeping me sane all these years.my one true friend in the entire world and beyond...if i could turn back time, i would do it in a heartbeat.without any hesitation.without any question.

can you hear me?I LOVE YOU!i love you more than i love myself.i've loved you before and i will always love you till my dying days.nothing will ever change that.the love that i have is as bright as the sun and it will never fade.

you were always there for me.through the best, the worst and all the in-betweens.you knew my deepest secrets,my lonely dreams,my every whisper... you laid next to me the whole time i was crying in the cold, dark room.

my heart is crushed like someone just ran over me... and yet i'm still alive and very much breathing.
i never imagined in a million years that it would come to this.i feel completely desolated in this busy,busy land.will i ever be the same?i doubt it with every fiber of my being .will i get through this alive??

i don't want to go alone.i don't want to be alone...

someone once said," Don't listen to sad songs when you're sad". but i just can't help myself. i'm still bleeding tears as i write this. and it doesn't help that Ben Harper's song is playing in the background.
i know from this moment on, i'll have to be strong and live on with only your image in my thoughts.but right this second, just this second, i'd like to believe that things were just like how they were before.we're in our own world and nothing can tear us apart.

i've never been so alone and empty. as the hour passes, a part of me is slowly drifting away...flying like particles of dust,into the vast space that surrounds us.

God, please help me get through this..i don't think i have the strength to go through this alone.