stars and satellites

I’m lying on the cold hard floor with nothing but the silence
Let it take me, let it consume me, like the deep blue ocean
Swallowing everything along its way.



My words are getting rusty because they are not spoken
Scripted and repeated over and over though in paper it was never written
Waiting for the day when I would say it with confidence.


The times I ran, I jumped and I flew
Chasing nothing but with not a single clue
My heart leaped whenever I see you.



But now it’s time to let go
Of something I never really had, never ever will hold
And let myself free.


I wouldn’t trade the pain for never knowing you
For the times you’ve made me smile, I thank you
It was worth it for the view.


The rain is falling now and I go outside
Let it embrace me like a hug so tight
Because this is where I see your eyes.

-----martian mathers-----

I'm not quite sure what state of mind I'm in right now.my ears are squashed by a headphone that seems to crush my head.'hero/heroine' by Boys Like Girls fills my ear drums.in all honesty, i don't even know what to write.I'm beginning to think that one of the reasons that my sore throat is not getting any better is because i barely talk.quite eerie, don't you think?

Aaahh....i think talking is so overrated.what would it be like if our speeches turn to lyrics?then everyone would be singing to each other.instead of the boring tones of a normal conversation.

I don't even know what i'm saying.perhaps the cold night air has gone straight to my brain and freezed my dura matter.

I'm not trying to philosophize anything.I'm just saying what i want to.no restrictions.no limits.no constraints.

'I'm falling so fast like a stone off a cliff whenever i see your face.
now i'm running and screaming.'

i've never actually wrote something cheesy before.but this is what listening to too much(i say too much cause it's uncountable)sappy love songs do to you.

the end.

i've walked this road a thousand times before.and yet,today the road seemed harder.colder.lonelier.my heart felt heavier with each step i took.it almost consumed whatever feelings, whatever thoughts i had left.i kept on walking.headed in which direction,i could not be sure.the clouds were getting dark.like a black cape covering the orange sky.i did not feel afraid.i masked indifference but my head was buzzing like a bee hive being struck by a malicious child.i held back all my emotions.but as a drop of rain fell into my palm,so did my tears.i cried so hard but the rain and the storm silenced my cries.silenced my fear.silenced my anger.silenced everything...

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately.be it trivial things or world-changing things.even in my sleep, all my thoughts are played in my dreams.like watching a mixed up story on silent mode.

i think of how a person can live his life not showing any emotion at all.i think of being in that person's shoes and live a life without showing any emotion.and then i become that thought.

i think of the irony that life brings.i read on CNN that a marine who was on leave from his duty in Iraq was shot at a bus stop in his home town,Cleveland.

that is life.

i think of all the zits that are going to pop up on my face when the new semester starts.i think of the orphans who've lost their parents to natural disasters.i think of abused animals walking with no direction and rummaging through trash for a piece of anything.



and with that,i'll get back to my thinking now...