stars and satellites

very recently,a certain someone i knew left this world forever.although we were not close in life,i must say she was the strongest person i've ever known.i am indeed thankful that i got to see her one last time at the hospital.

it was only a few weeks ago.she was lying in a bed full of buttons and machines tracking her every heart beat,every drop of blood that comes out of her body.

but there was no look of despair.not a trace of pain was etched on her face.after all that,she was still smiling.she gave the most beautiful smile.she couldn't be much older than my mother.looking at her on that bed with all those tubes coming from all over her body made me wonder.what if it was my mother?would i be able to care for her and be all that she needs me to be?or would i just leave her alone and do nothing??a drop of tear trickled down my face.i tried to hide it by staring at the window instead.

the room was as cold as a morgue.there were only two patients in a room.and there was this bed next to hers where a really old man laid.he looked really small and frail.he was all alone and staring into space.at that moment,i just wanted to go to the side of the bed and hold his hand.i never did.

is he still alive?or has he gone to meet the Creator?only God knows.at that point,she was already in her final stage of cancer,but she never mentioned it to anyone.so,nobody ever knew the seriousness of the situation till it was too late.perhaps it was her wish.

her face looked so calm that day.the only complain that she made was that she was out of breath.even while all the tubes were draining out the water from her lungs.

the moment my mother told me that the woman passed away,i was shocked and at peace at the same time.shocked because it seemed like she was getting better. peace because she did not suffer severely when she died.

she died in her sleep around 2am.

i didn't think to write about it.i just figured that it was something that i need to keep to myself.but on my way home today, i turned on the radio.and there was this 'tazkirah' given by an ustaz.

and the topic was death.

i listened to it attentively and i realized,this wasn't some kind of coincidence.it was meant to make me realize that death is very certain and near and we should always be prepared to face it.

he said that if we are happy to meet Him, He will be happy to meet us too.and how do we know if we will be happy to meet Him?

through our deeds.

you can't say you're happy to meet God while you're doing all the wrongdoings on earth.the ustaz said that if our 'amal' is good, at the moment of dying,we would forget all that is on earth and could not wait to see God.

that is why i have to write this down.you can't just go to a person's funeral and not learn anything from it.if that's the case,what are you living for anyway??

at the presence of death, we are all equal.no one's prettier.smarter.richer.

we're all nothing but particles as compared to everything that God has created.
therefore,learn.never stop learning...